So You Want To Pick A Bandwagon Team…

… Then let be your lighthouse in the fog of confusion. Firstly, just don’t. Why not stick with your current team?All relationships go through stressful periods, but you need to work on it. Remember all the good times you had and focus on next season. Sometimes it’s all give, give, give and you get nothing in return. Maybe treat yourself to one of the new Adidas jerseys. Be proud to wear those colours. Just remember if you wear another team’s colours, then you’re opening the door to ridicule. Maybe give counselling a chance.

If you absolutely have to pick a bandwagon team, then there are some rules that you’ll need to follow.

Pick a good team. To ride the bandwagon, that wagon actually has to be going somewhere good. If a team is getting good after a few years of obscurity then that really helps. Maple Leafs fans know what I mean. A team that constantly puts up poor performances is not worthy of your time and faux-adoration. When was the last time you heard someone say “Hey, I’m all about the Coyotes this season”? Take nothing away from Arizona’s 12 diehard fans, but nobody’s jumping that wagon. Even their own city hates them.

You can also pick a team that are always good and are guaranteed to win stuff. This is also known as being a Manchester United or New England Patriots fan. This is no fun though as there’s no emotion involved in jumping a wagon that’s already loaded with silverware. If this is the bandwagon for you, then step away from sport. It doesn’t want you.

Now, you have to pick a team that has potential. A team that could go all the distance but isn’t the favourite. For many seasons this looked like the Washington Capitals, but time has taught us that the regular season counts for nothing and the Caps will choke on the big stage. The Nashville Predators have potential. The Buffalo Sabres do not.

Once you’ve whittled down this list, you need to immediately discard any teams from your current team’s division. If you’re gonna cheat on your wife*, you don’t do it with her sister. You see them all the time and family gatherings will get super awkward. It’s your call whether or not you apply the same rule to the conference or not. With the impending expansions that Uncle Gary wants to bring in, there may be a shuffle around so keep that at the back of your mind. It wasn’t too long ago that Detroit was in the west (and good). Things may change again soon.

Consider geographical location, especially if you support a team which shares it city with another team. Remember the last time you met someone who supported the Rangers AND the Islanders? No, because that fell foul of the division rule and that person would be chased out of town with flaming pitchforks. Also consider if you’re going to buy a jersey, could you walk around your town wearing that jersey without being laughed at and/or arrested? That segues nicely into the next factor, just how committed are you? Are you going to spend money on your new team? Maybe a baseball cap or even a jersey.

Lastly think about the reasons why you’re looking for a bandwagon team, and is it success you crave? Don’t confuse a bandwagon team with a girlfriend team. They’re not the same thing.


* does not condone cheating on your wife

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